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October 29, 2003 |
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Technology. I love it. I-Pod’s, I-Books, I-Macs, cell phones, plasma TV, Tivo, DVD’s, high definition, you name the modern day electronic invention and you’ll find me crazy nuts about it. And the romance would be even more intense were I able to occasionally find the on/off switch on anything digital. Oh I can turn on my cell phone. But with cell phones folks are always changing companies meaning they’re also forced to change their phone number. (Is it not the very essence of stupidity that if I change phone companies on my home phone I keep the same number but if I switch to a new cell phone provider one is also required to get a new number and many times acquiring a new cell phone even with the old one being in fine working order is also part of the deal. And while we’re on the subject of the low corporate IQ of your basic cell phone company why do they only have dorks shilling their products on the TV? One company has a nerd complete with a pocket protector walking through the back yards of complete strangers mumbling “Can you hear me now?” Another cell phone company advertising features a spokesman traveling our land to various locations while always dressed in a black trench coat. I don’t know about you but I’ve always been taught to avoid guys wearing a black trench coat, especially when you see them at the beach.) Anyway, since people are always changing their cell phone numbers it forces you to continually re-program the memory. Well you might re-program, I have to wait until I’m visiting a daughter in Denver and have her do it. What’s really aggravating is she re-programs my cell phone while feeding her 9 month old and watching Oprah. Is this what they mean by multi-tasking? And couldn’t she make re-programming appear a little more difficult so I could feel better about myself? With ‘puters my level of expertise extends all the way up to e-mail. Last summer’s cross-country bike trip had a website, pedalnputt. My part involved e mailing a description of the day’s activities while attaching a couple of trip photo’s to the email and internetting them to a Denver son-in-law. He, in turn, did whatever mumbo-jumbo, rhubarb-rhubarb one does to post those e-mails in a readable form on a designated website. I have no problem with that son-in-law knowing more about computerese than I because he graduated from CU with a degree in information technology. After four years of bits and bytes he should be more knowledgeable than yours truly. But a couple of weeks ago on a Seattle visit my oldest grandson was attempting to teach me how to turn on and change the channels of the plasma TV hanging on the wall of their family room. To me it was just slightly less difficult than assembling toys at 1 a.m. on Christmas Eve (attach dowel J2b through rivet K6h until it fits firmly in anchor bolt G7) but my grandson seemed to have no problem with the intricacies of the on/off switch or the channel changer. After a quarter of an hour of instruction I was no closer to mastery of the plasma tuner than I was to comprehending Einstein’s theory of relativity. Bedtime interrupted my TV tutorial. After tucking in my instructor, his grandma who doubles as my wife inquired, “Well how did tuner time go?” “It’s hard“ I replied, “but it’s not made any easier by the fact your grandson talks to me like I’m in the first grade.” “That’s probably caused by two things,” said my wife, “One is you don’t seem to grasp what he is trying to teach you and the other is he talks to you like a first grader because he is a first grader.” The truth can be so cruel. So I’m back to teaching myself how to cope with the digital revolution. In all modesty I must admit the learning process is going quite well. I’ve only had my I-Book for ten months and already I’ve taught myself how to type in digital letters. Why in no time at all you’ll be able to call me a full-fledged computer geek. |
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