September 10, 2003
Really

Talk about useless information   A recent newspaper article lamented the results of a CBS poll announcing two out of every three registered Democrats can’t name their party’s current presidential hopefuls.  I find it more amazing that one third of all Jefferson-Jackson stalwarts actually have bothered to pick a favorite among the players on their presidential scorecard. 

    First off, I’m no registered Democrat.  (My problems are much more severe.  I’m a registered Republican who golf’s at Bookcliff and it’s my understanding  “country club” Republicans are persona non grata in the upcoming Mesa County political season.)   My re-classification to the  “unwashed” caste of the Republican does little to provide an insight to the Democratic mind.  But why, at this early stage of the game, should anyone care who’s running?  By the time Colorado Democrats have to make a choice it’s going to be down to one name anyway. That’s how the system works.

     The article detailed that among current Democrats with their hat in the ring Joe Lieberman leads the field.  Lieberman has a whole 14 per cent of the vote. My Connecticut sister thinks her senator is wonderful, but even she admits Joe Lieberman is badly in need of a personality transplant if he expects to battle on the national political stage.

     Richard Gephardt, in second with 11 per cent, has run for the Presidency so often he’s about to become the Democrats answer to Harold Stassen.  Howard Dean, with 10 per cent and ranks third, is the former or maybe current Governor of Vermont.  All I know about Vermont is it’s where Ben and Jerry’s Ice cream is made and Vermonters think the rest of the U S talks funny. But I did read where Howard Dean was a medical doctor before running for office.  Most likely this career change was brought about by the astronomical rates being charged physicians for malpractice insurance.  How nice it must be to change careers and in the process leave a field where malpractice is penalized to one where it’s encouraged.

     After the three leaders, if fourteen, thirteen and eleven constitute being a dominant front-runner; the list of viable candidates really becomes a stretch.  John Kerry, the Massachusetts senator, became so excited over his drop from double digits in previous polls to 5 per cent in this most recent sampling that last week he officially announced his run for the top job.  Evidentially Sen. Kerry wants to strike while the iron is lukewarm.

     Kerry is tied, at five per cent, with the Rev. Al Sharpton who confines his political appearances west of the Hudson River to network newscasts. The Reverend Al must find travel does serious damage to his hairdo.

     Bob Graham, in turn, follows Sharpton, at 4 per cent.  Graham, it was explained to me, is a Florida senator whose reputation extends as far north as Alabama.  John Edwards, a North Carolina senator sits at 2 per cent meaning his rep can’t make it from Raleigh to Ashville let alone across the state line.

     Also at 2 per cent is Carol Mosely Braun.  Illinois voters turned her out of office when she wanted another term as the Senator from the “Land of Lincoln”.  Ms. Braun seems convinced the experience of losing at the state level is nothing when compared to the emotions one must feel when being rejected by voters from coast to coast.

     Last, and certainly least, at zero percent, you read correctly, zero percent, is the former “boy mayor” of Cleveland, Dennis Kucinich.  “Boy mayor” sounds so much better than “one term”.  Mr. Kucinich, according to his web site, has been speaking all over Iowa in anticipation of the upcoming primary.  Maybe for all his work Dennis would have been better served not to trumpet across the Hawkeye state how he’s a much better person since becoming a vegetarian.  Iowa cattle farmers might be thinking Kucinch’s zero percent standing is a tad high for their comfort level.  Of course it is also possible no one wants to commit to Kucinich for fear that at some point in time they will be required to spell his name.

     Not a party to the poll was Gen. Wesley Clark.  He’s being coy about a “draft Gen. Clark” movement.  The General, who graduated first in his class at West Point in 1986 and most recently, before retirement, was the NATO commander, has exactly the qualities Democrats desire.  He looks good and was a Rhodes scholar who grew up in Arkansas.  No word on whether he passed or flunked the intern test.