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November 15, 2006 |
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On the internet, no idea is too farfetched, Petsmobility.com will sell you a cell phone for the family dog. The latest net addition is self-help sights. For instance critical information like “how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich”, is now just a dotcom away. Books dealing with life’s vicissitudes, the “For Dummies” series is so far reaching they seemingly cover every life problem with the possible exception of “How To Make a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich for Dummies”, have long been a publishing staple. But a recent Wall Street Journal article informed how the Internet now provides video instruction on subjects from ridiculous to mundane. My wife and I sat transfixed watching a videojug.com “How to Cook and Eat Bavarian Sausage” video. While cooking the white wiener basically consists of putting the sausage in boiling water for approximately eight minutes there are a multitude of Bavarian sausage eating tips. The Top 3 seemed to be, never consume a Bavarian sausage after midnight, (don’t ask me why I’m not Bavarian) never use a fork (it’s an insult to Bavarians everywhere) and, even if it’s breakfast, always have a beer with your wiener. Thanks to the information gleaned from this video I now have a whole new appreciation for Bavarian sausage consumption, especially the beer for breakfast segment. Unfortunately, despite repeated viewings, my wife remains less than convinced. Other instructional films on videojug.com include “How To Fold a T-shirt in 2 seconds”, so far practice has been far from perfect in attempting to duplicate the dude in the video, “How To Make a Buzz Lightyear Cocktail”, it involves rum, a mango, guava and a banana, plus “How To Care for Your Giant African Snail”, snail fans probably already know a clean, well-ventilated, glass tank is a basic requirement. Over at wikihow.com “how to” information is provided on subjects where you weren’t aware help was required. “How To Condition Your Knuckles for Fighting” fits in this category, suggesting push-ups using only the fore and middle fingers of each hand. The “Tips” section does allow thumbs to be included in the push-up should one be continually falling over during the knuckle strengthing exercise. Wikihow.com also includes articles described as “needing further editing.” Included in this area were “How To Hold Your Breath Under Water”, the “Tip” for this activity states, “If you must breathe, come up for air”, and “How To Survive Grandparents That Are Total Annoying People.” What? The most mundane of the self-help internet sites seems to be ehow.com where one can read “How To Care For Your Bowling Ball” and “How To Do a Push-Up”. Thankfully the folks at ehow.com allow the use of all ten fingers in the push up process. E-how.com could be accused of providing a little too much information. For instance, in the Family and Relationships section you’ll find “How to Make a Fake I.D.” Just what every parent wants their child to know. Most of the “how-to” information is provided by ordinary folk thinking they have special information society at large lacks. So you get special insights like “How To Take A Shower” featuring a fully clothed really old guy standing in a shower and explaining “Be sure and keep the shower curtain inside the tub.” Really. So far the only instructional video missing seems to be “How To Boil Water”. Give it a week. Chances are the subject matter will be the latest addition. |