December 26, 2007
 

“What’s Happening?” in ‘08

Years.  With the end of one, and the beginning of another, the laws of columning demand every correspondent from Maine to California issue prognostications on expectations for the next 365 days.  The Milieu is certainly no exception. 

Come 2008 look for….. 

In mid-January the constant conversation starter to be, “I can never remember it being so cold, for so long, in the Grand Valley.” 

A new President in ’08 is for certain.  The guess here is Hillary with Obama as Veep.   For staunch Democrats this will mark the end of our national nightmare.  To dyed-in-the-wool Republicans it will signal the ruination of civilization.  For the rest of us, the remaining 90% who became bored beyond disgust with the body politic somewhere in the middle of 2007, the inauguration will only signal the arrival of a different ruling class, that like its predecessors, has absolutely nothing in common with we flyover state residents.  

Immediately after hoisting the Super Bowl trophy in February the first question asked of the winning coach, “Do you think you can repeat?”  

The law of average dictates sometime in 2008 a cogent thought to be published in the refuge for the spineless “You Said It.”  True it has yet to happen, but if probability dictates 2000 monkeys on 2000 typewriters eventually compose a complete sentence, it should also hold true for a meaningful  “You Said It” thought. But don’t hold your breath, past experience dictates a betting man should put his money on the simian miracle occurring first. 

Come April an ever-present refrain will be, “I can never remember it being this windy, for this long, in the Grand Valley.” 

At some point during the baseball season, the Rockies will lose three in a row causing many Coloradoans to dig a Yankee or Red Sox hat out of the closet and start wearing these universal signs telling the world, “I am a front runner.” 

Sometime in February, baseball’s commissioner will announce he’s an activist and will be making a strong stand against cheaters, vowing to prosecute those taping games “without the express written consent of major league baseball.”   

In August, friends and total strangers will start conversations with, “I can never remember it being so hot, for so long, in the Grand Valley 

Forget the speed of light, the fastest moving object in the universe will remain my finger changing stations upon hearing the first note of a Rascal Flatts song.  Geezer dudes are too old school for N’Sync country. 

On Tuesday evening November 4^th, 2008, two minutes after the California polls close, the major networks will declare a winner and the talking heads will shift the discussion to who will be a candidate in 2012. 

In 2008 the Rockies will win the World Series, the Nuggets the NBA Championship, CU or CSU the BCS Championship, the Avalanche the Stanley Cup and the Broncos the Super Bowl.  Since all these titles will make us the new Boston, citizens of the Mile High State will start using the word “wicked”.  A lot. 

Come October, one will constantly be reminded, “Can you believe our wonderful weather?  That’s why we live here, the perfect climate.”