May 4^th, 2003 

Ponderings as Journey Begins

Baker City Oregon 

  Ah Oregon.  A most interesting section of our land.  Here lawmakers have decided the citizens who elected them to office are incapable of pumping their own gasoline at service stations.  Law must pump petrol in the Beaver State pumped by a highly trained gas station professional.

   This individual, usually disguised as a high school kid, spends most of his time leaning against a gas pump reading “Street Rod”, “Maxim” or “Guns and Ammo” until you force him to put down the reading material by pulling your car to a stop at a gas pump under his charge.  He approaches your window and inquires “Unleaded?”  A grunt in the affirmative brings the response, “Cash or card?”  You hand him your plastic and it is only at this moment his technical training comes to the fore as he inserts your card in the gas pump reader and then, just as he has been schooled, removes the card “quickly”.  Once the card is approved our master of all things premium and unleaded unscrews the gas cap, inserts the pump nozzle, sets said nozzle on automatic fill and steps back to await the automatic shutoff being triggered when the tank is full.  Now, you say, “I like it when my tank is filled for me”.  Fine.  But just across the border in Washington, where self serve is still in vogue at petrol palaces; gas is about a dime a gallon less than it is in Oregon.   I suppose the Oregon petroleum retailers would lay the blame for the price discrepancy between gas prices in Oregon and Washington on transportation costs as petroleum retailers seem want to do.  But since the distance between Portland, Oregon and Vancouver, Washington is the length of a small bridge I’m thinking the difference just might be caused by the state law requiring a station employee to pump fuel.  To my knowledge the only other state with a similar statute is New Jersey.  I‘m certain the folks charged with promoting Oregon’s persona to the world just feel their hearts burst with pride at the very mention of a comparison putting their state on the same level with the commonwealth best known as home to “The Soprano’s”.

  Not that Oregon has cornered the market on dumb laws.  I have always wondered why you can’t buy a car in Colorado on Sunday.  When did the eleventh commandment become “Thou shalt not buy a Celica on the Sabbath”?  On any given Sunday in our Centennial State one can purchase a home, get a body piercing or tattoo, buy groceries for the week or    just go crazy loading everything in sight on your shopping cart and heading for the checkout stand at Wally world but purchasing a ’99 Honda Civic borders on being a capital offense.  Is it possible Colorado automobile dealers, new and used, have sought legal help from our state legislature for protection from themselves.  “If one guy is open on Sunday then we’ll all have to be open!” might be the response.  No you won’t.  There is no law that says you must be open for business on any day including Sunday.  R.C. Willey runs a huge furniture store in Las Vegas.  Everything is open on Sunday in Las Vegas crying out loud.  Except R. C. Willey.

   If Realtors get sick and tired of working open houses on Sunday do they get the legislature to ban them or just get someone to cover for them?  Maybe golf pro’s have had it with having to work every Sunday and feel if people want to play golf they can just squeeze it in Monday through Saturday because golf professionals want to spend time with their family on the weekends too.  Pass a law.  And how about ministers? Could it be that while the calling is still very strong in their soul it’s also true they’re real tired of having to spend every Saturday writing a sermon or homily.  Plus Saturday’s they also have at least one wedding to perform.  Then comes Sunday where, without fail, people of the cloth are required, without fail, to lead their flock from the pulpit.  Maybe just once they’d like to spend Sunday morning in their jammies eating pancakes in front of the TV while the Bronco’s play a ten a.m. game on the East Coast.  Give the clergy a break.  Pass a law moving church to Friday morning at ten.  An added plus to that legislative mandate would be a tenfold increase in the number of people moved by the Christian spirit.   Sunday’s are just so inconvenient when it comes to scheduling time for church.  Friday at ten would work much better for the average citizen, especially if employers were forced by law to give all employees an hour off for church once a week.  Just maybe the Ministerial Alliance should seek the counsel of the Automobile Dealers Association on how to handle this “Sunday” thing.

   And here you thought I’d run out of things to think about riding a bike across Oregon.